timberlands for women How much do you like her
I was at the pub last week and it was mobbed, five deep at the bar. I bought drinks; a couple of beers for Jack and me and vodkas for the women. I paid for the hooch, got the drinks in the tight four position and burrowed into the crowd. Half way back to our spot, I looked at the voddies and thought ‘Hmmm, forgotten the straws.’ That’s when I asked myself: ‘How much do you like this chick? Is it really worth going back for the straw?’ Now, a lot of you might say this has nothing to do with attraction, that it is gentlemanly to fetch a woman a straw. Me, I think it’s gentlemanly to buy drink after drink for a girl and, last time I checked, even toddlers could successfully sip out of just a glass start col1 main content >
Tests are great, especially on dates. They give you an objective guide to your feelings about a stranger and they also allow you to size up their character.
If you’ve ever seen the Robert de Niro film, A Bronx Tale, you may remember the date test that Sonny, played by Chazz Palminteri teaches young Calogero, played by Lillo Brancato (who in an unfortunate case of life imitiating art was charged last year with second degree murder for his role in a burglary in the Bronx).
SONNY: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
SONNY: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
I’m not as cut throat as Sonny but I do have my tests. Among my never fails are:
Do I Pick Her Up Test?: If the answer is ‘Nah, I’ll just meet her there’ you’re not off to a great start.
Waiter Test: A woman can be sweet as Delta Goodrem, but if she’s rude to the waiter/waitress you know she’s got something going on you want no part of.
Shout Test: Does the woman offer to buy a drink at any stage of the night? An incredibly accurate indicator of what she expects cash wise from a bloke. If she only shouts every fourth drink, rest assured you’ll be paying for three out of four dinners in two year’s time when you’ve moved in together.
JBT Test: You might as well get this out of the way real early. Does she like the John Butler Trio, Ben Harper, George or Donovan Frankenreiter? Yes to any of them,
I know we’re not having children together.
Cab Driver Test: A close relative of the Waiter Test. A lot of cabbies tend to be minorities, so the way she treats the driver gives you a pretty good bead on her racial tolerance.
Wet Hair Test: When you go to the beach for a swim (also known as The Rig Test) does she squeal while ottering above the waves saying ‘I can’t get get my hair wet!’ Princess alert.
Ex boyfriend Test: If she’s bitter and twisted about her exes, there’s probably a reason. And let’s just say she’s the common element in all the relationships.
Salad and Mineral Water Test: If she starts with a statement like: “I’m actually not that hungry” or “I don’t know what I feel like,” brace yourself: If all she eats at dinner is vegetables and bubbles, you know the chances of her clicking with your mates are skinnier than she is.
Girlfriend Test: Run for the hills if she makes the following comment: “I much prefer the company of men. I don’t generally get on with women.” Women with no girlfriends are to be avoided. Aside from the obvious clinginess danger, what sort of person can’t get on with 50 percent of the population? Got problems.
So there’s some subtle ways to objectively gauge the nature of a female. Ignore the tests, you generally pay the consequences. Then again, almost every test gets thrown out the door if the girl is smoking hot. I’ll even cop Jack Johnson in the car.
Might be weird for a female to be posting right up near the beginning, but I might as well start off some discussion: but I know a girl who dumped a guy because he wouldn’t pay for her parking meter (by the way she didn’t ask, they agreed to meet at a place, they both drove there, he paid for his parking meter, she expected him to pay for hers, he didn’t, she didn’t ask him to, instead she dumped him) . what do you think of that kind of test? A bit too over the top?
How about an arm wrestling test? I know girls who’ve dumped guys they can beat at arm wrestling (no respect for a wuss).
And what about this one the ASTROLOGY test?
If they ask you your star sign and they say “Hmmm Aquarius, hey, you know, I’m a Leo, so that means .”
Doesn’t that freak people out amazingly?
‘an awesome club my friend owns/runs/can get us on the door’ = on drugs and a poser.
‘this ultra fancy restraunt’ = hungy. (joke) probably also a poser, and maybe checking if your wallet is big enough.
‘this nice little restraunt’ all fine by me!!
‘somewhere romantic’ (but cant suggest somewhere herself) = lives with parents and daddy takes care of her. See also ‘i dont know’ below.
‘somewhere romantic’ (and knows a spot) = wants to nail you by the end of the night, even if you dont end up being compatible.
‘i dont know’ = indecisive so will probably dump you later once she decides what she wants anyway. Or will run back to the ex she isnt over.
Unless you PLAN to do one of these things before hand of course.
This all may come across as both mysoginstic (please correct that for me Sam cos I’m sure it isnt spelt right!) and very picky, but hey. in the end, (down the track, not immediately of course!
) your looking for someone you want to spend your life with right?